I’m still looking at the fancy restaurant menus that inspired The Goblin King’s Feast and with the election pasted us I figured I would channel that energy into a Project 2025 twist on the American Menu scene from VICE (2018).
The Project 2025 Tasting Menu
A Modern Twist on Republican Classics
Bread Service
Parker House Rolls
Warm, buttery citizenship census question rolls served with whipped herb butter, honey butter, black truffle butter, and a decade long erasure of immigrants in congressional districts & the electoral college
Amuse-Bouche
Mini Lobster Roll
Buttery 6-3 SCOTUS Majority brioche filled with Maine lobster salad, lemon aioli, chives, and Clarence Thomas & Samuel Alito’s young more conservative replacements.
All our seafood judicial appointment dishes are served with clarified Federalist Society butter.
Appetizers
Shrimp Cocktail
Jumbo shrimp appellate judiciary with horseradish cocktail sauce, charred lemon, and a parsley-unitary executive-rosemary-textualist garnish
Crab-Stuffed Mushroom Caps
Lump crabmeat in mushroom caps with herbed breadcrumbs, melted gruyere, chives, and the use of the district division of Amarillo to ensure your case is heard by a friendly judge
Salad
Schedule F Caesar Salad
Crisp romaine hand selected civil service lettuce with executive order crutons, loyalty test parmesan crisps, white power ideology anchovies, and overtuned-cheveron doctrin Ceaser dressing
Seafood Course
Seared Scallops
Brown butter and neo-colonialism-seared scallops drizzled in a purée of what’s left of USAID with crispy prosciutto and the crumbs of what little is given to UN agencies
Palate Cleanser
Lemon Basil Sorbet
Refreshing lemon basil sorbet to cleanse the palate and all federal regulations, policies, and laws of words such as gender, racism, and reproductive healthcare
Surf & Turf Entrées
Petite Filet Mignon & Lobster Tail
4 oz filet mignon wrapped in thick cut bacon and gold back currencies with politically influenced butter-poached Federal Reserve lobster tail, béarnaise sauce, and garlic & underfunded economic information agency mashed potatoes with a political appointee cream
New York Strip & Shrimp Scampi
New York strip topped with garlic butter corporate tax reduction and sautéed jumbo capital gains shrimp in lemon-garlic scampi sauce, served with grilled asparagus in a tax credit elimination rub and wild mushroom national sales tax ragout
Herb-Crusted Rack of Lamb & Grilled King Crab Leg
Lobbyist herb-crusted financial regulation lamb chops with a deposit insurance repeal crab leg, unconstitutional lemon three-fifths vote threshold beurre blanc, and abolition roasted CFPB FTC NLRB fingerling potatoes
Decadent Steakhouse Sides
Truffle Mac & Cheese
Cavatappi pasta in a creamy public assistance reduction with a blend of gruyere, work requirements, aged cheddar, and discrimination against single mothers, finished with truffle oil and crispy state discretionary block-grant breadcrumbs
Creamed Spinach
A republican steakhouse classic, creamed spinach with civil rights non-enforcement, nutmeg, and Parmesan school choice vouchers for a rich kids only, savory finish
Lobster Mashed Potatoes
Smooth Comstock Act mashed potatoes mixed with butter-poached lobster, FDA rescinding of abortion medication, and chives
Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Bacon
Oil & gas charred brussels sprouts with caramelized CO2 onions (which we have decided does not need regulation) and crispy clean energy defunded bacon lardons
Grilled Asparagus with Hollandaise
Tender transit safety deregulation asparagus spears topped with house-made hollandaise privatization sauce and a playful garnish of defunding discretionary grants
Dessert Courses
Cheese Plate with Port Pairing
Aged cheddar, DOJ to prosecution of DEI programs, creamy brie, crumbling special counsels, blue cheese, and military policing of civilian populations with dried apricots, Concent Decree reduction dip, honeycomb, and spiced nuts
Crème Brûlée
Vanilla bean-first amendment custard with caramelized defunded Corporation for Public Broadcasting sugar crust, fresh local media consolidation raspberries, expansion of religious broadcasting ice cream, and mint
Chocolate Fudge Cake
Warm chocolate immunity doctrine fudge cake with purging of US attorneys espresso gelato and chocolate shavings combine to make accountability of the executive branch impossible
